Anschreiben in Eng

Das Bewerbungsverfahren für Studienmöglichkeiten, Praktika und Jobs im Ausland unterscheidet sich von Land zu Land. Auf welche länderspezifischen Fallstricke besonders geachtet werden sollte, erfahrt ihr in dieser Rubrik.
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Pappnase2906
Beiträge: 19
Registriert: 11.01.2009, 14:23

Anschreiben in Eng

Beitrag von Pappnase2906 » 18.02.2009, 13:32

Hallo! Ich suche jetzt auch im Ausland, könnt mir mir bei diesen Schreiben ggf mal Kritik geben. Es soll ein klass. Motivtation Letter sein!

Hier ein bisschen allgemein gehalten, aber dieser soll Grundlage geben für weitere Bewerbungen. Vielleicht könnt ihr auch mal nach Formulierungsfehlern (grob) gucken.

Also, pls give me helping hand in my matter!

Thx 1000 times.

La


Dear Ms. Pohl, Ladies and Gentlemen,

I apply myself to you, because simultaneous treatment of various projects, meetings, phone ringing and hectic in the office does not stress me! Organizing is my core competency. Trouble-Shooting makes fun! Ease, balance and reliability, as well as open communication are not troubling me in hectic situations.

After finishing (graduation in March 2009) my studies in management sciences with a focus on organizational and financial sciences I search for a new professional challenge. The new challenge should combine my latest theoretical knowledge and my extensive industry experience, esp. in the automobile industry.

My particular interest in your advertised job is the versatility of the various complex tasks and the associated knowledge needed to fulfil the requirements. By working as an assistant, I would like focus on the complexity of mentioned working field and find an interesting way into my career.

Through my practical operations as a student staff at ZZZ AG, different PPP corporations in Germany and abroad and in the BBB Holding Ltd.. I thus solidified the desire as a Management Assistant.

My last work experience was within an assistant team for the Vice-President XXX Trucks in the PR China. I analyzed optimized for the activities of XXX AG knowledge acquisition for strategic controlling. My work also included competitor analysis, market studies, and preparation of joint venture-related KPIs. Process analysis but also classic assistant responsibilities such as travel arrangements, organizing events and meetings were part of my task.

As part of Business Development and Governmental Business activities, I have experience in the field of strategic knowledge generation. I am highly skilled in SSS and GGG.com is for research purposes.

In all my prior working tasks I was strong working, highly motivated, highly flexible in time and place. I have quick and accurate working style, a high load capacity as well as good language skills both in English as a foreign language.
Working together with people from diverse cultures has given me a special fun.

In summary, I see myself as a suitable candidate for the advertised position. Therefore I would greatly appreciate a personal acquaintance with you. For questions, I am happy to assist you. As a possible starting date, I see April 1st 2009 an easy start.

Yours sincerely,

Dural
Beiträge: 124
Registriert: 18.01.2009, 10:47

Beitrag von Dural » 18.02.2009, 17:35

Ich mache einfach mal die Sätze fett, von denen ich denke, dass sie richtig sind:

Dear Ms. Pohl, Ladies and Gentlemen,
I apply myself to you, because simultaneous treatment of various projects, meetings, phone ringing and hectic in the office does not stress me! Organizing is my core competency. Trouble-Shooting makes fun! Ease, balance and reliability, as well as open communication are not troubling me in hectic situations.

After finishing (graduation in March 2009) my studies in management sciences with a focus on organizational and financial sciences I search for a new professional challenge. The new challenge should combine my latest theoretical knowledge and my extensive industry experience, esp. in the automobile industry.

My particular interest in your advertised job is the versatility of the various complex tasks and the associated knowledge needed to fulfil the requirements. By working as an assistant, I would like focus on the complexity of mentioned working field and find an interesting way into my career.

Through my practical operations as a student staff at ZZZ AG, different PPP corporations in Germany and abroad and in the BBB Holding Ltd.. I thus solidified the desire as a Management Assistant.

My last work experience was within an assistant team for the Vice-President XXX Trucks in the PR China. I analyzed optimized for the activities of XXX AG knowledge acquisition for strategic controlling. My work also included competitor analysis, market studies, and preparation of joint venture-related KPIs. Process analysis but also classic assistant responsibilities such as travel arrangements, organizing events and meetings were part of my task.

As part of Business Development and Governmental Business activities, I have experience in the field of strategic knowledge generation. I am highly skilled in SSS and GGG.com is for research purposes.

In all my prior working tasks I was strong working, highly motivated, highly flexible in time and place. I have quick and accurate working style, a high load capacity as well as good language skills both in English as a foreign language.
Working together with people from diverse cultures has given me a special fun.

In summary, I see myself as a suitable candidate for the advertised position. Therefore I would greatly appreciate a personal acquaintance with you. For questions, I am happy to assist you. As a possible starting date, I see April 1st 2009 an easy start.

Yours sincerely,

Die Grammatik (z.B. die Zeiten) sind oft falsch. Einige Grammatikwörter fehlen einfach. Viele Wörter sind falsch gewählt, an manchen Stellen bedeuten sie sogar etwas, was gar nicht gemeint ist. Der Autor hat sicherlich keine Sekunde seiner Lebenszeit verschwendet, mal einen Artikel in einer englischen Zeitschrift zu lesen. Das wird besonders an so groben Fehlern wie "strong working" deutlich. Dabei kommt "hard working" so häufig vor. Auch "makes fun" statt "is fun" erfordert sicherlich kein hohes Niveau, um es richtig zu machen. Ich würde den Brief von jemand anderem schreiben lassen. Mit deinen Englischkenntnissen kommst du hier nicht weiter. Tut mir leid.

Pappnase2906
Beiträge: 19
Registriert: 11.01.2009, 14:23

SORRRYYY

Beitrag von Pappnase2906 » 18.02.2009, 17:57

hey! Sorrrrrrrrrrrrry!

Ich hab eben gesehen, dass ich eine völlig falsche variante eingestellt habe!!!! Das war eine google language version. Bitte entschuldige die Zeitverschwendung! :oops:

Stelle die richtige Variante noch ein! Werd aber vorher nochmals korrektur lesen, damit nicht wieder so was wird.

Gruss

La

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